Taking ‘Those Bastards’ To Court

A group of Canadian cattle producers, desperate to get the Canada/U.S. border opened to the shipment of live cattle again, is turning up the heat on this issue by suing the U.S. government for violating NAFTA. That should get their attention right?

Well, actually, no it won’t. Canada’s softwood lumber producers already tried this tactic to no avail. The U.S. has lost countless World Trade Organization rulings on the issue, yet the punitive levies remain in place against Canadian softwood lumber.

When it comes down to a choice between flipping off a strategic voting block or simply paying a fine, American politicians will always choose to pay the fine. Besides, it’s not like they’ll have to foot that bill personally — they simply throw taxpayer dollars at it.

This is an election year in the Excited States. Politically speaking, President Bush has nothing to lose and everything to gain by not opening the border to live cattle until well after the election — if at all. And if John Kerry wins, well, he’s already promised that the border is staying closed.

The way I see it, we have two choices left:

  1. Tie beef exports to something that both individual Americans and their leaders care about (hint: OIL and NATURAL GAS)
  2. Get the hell out of the ruminant industry and find something else to sell instead.

It’s crunch time. We’ve reached the point where we’re either upping the ante or cutting our losses with a massive cull. Personally, I’d like to see us up the ante.

With the price of oil hovering around $45/barrel, there’s no better time to pull this particular lever with the Americans.

15% of the world’s proven recoverable oil reserves sit in Alberta alone. Alberta also supplies approximately 25% of the United States’ natural gas needs. On top of this, we have massive reserves of methane coal.

Believe me, if Alberta decides to get pissy about tying beef (and lumber) exports to energy exports, we’ll have the complete and undivided attention of our southern neighbours. I’m betting they’d much rather take the (non-existent) risk of eating our beef than parking their SUVs and freezing to death during the winter.

This is dirty pool, to be sure, but they started it with the softwood lumber crap. Besides, if they don’t like it, they can f@#$ing take us to court.

Disclaimer:

I am not a farmer. While my wife grew up on a farm and owns a few head of cattle, the closest I have come to farming is nearly getting trampled while helping out during branding at the in-laws’ farm a few years back. We’ve since come to an understanding:

They brand the live cattle while I cook the dead ones.

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